But you know that already, right?
Well, so do I but God just felt the need to remind me again.
So it's now February and I've officially quit my outside job at a children's consignment store to stay home and write full-time. If you've read my previous posts, you know that around the first of the year, I received an unexpected opportunity that made my dream of being a full-time writer possible. After praying about it, I felt it was the right time for me to take the plunge. I gave my notice to my boss that I would work through the end of January and then only stay on as a sub, when needed.
As the end of January drew near, I started to panic. You know, the way we do when we start taking our eyes off God and focusing on our circumstances. Panicky circumstances like, my monthly income will now drop approximately $200 per month and what if I can't make that up? My kids' monthly music lessons would be history, as would allowing them to get hot lunch a couple times per week. And what about my hair? I so am not going to one of those cheap chain-salons! (I know, I'm spoiled).
Then, this past Monday, the first day of my last official week at work, my boss sent an email to me and the one other employee at 7:30 in the morning saying that if either of us wanted the extra hours, Saturday was available (that would be today). I quickly jumped on it. Those hours were mine, baby! God was answering my whines about the extra cash! At least I could make a few extra bucks before I went to the poor house.
Two minutes later, my boss responded saying the other girl had already snagged the hours.
WHAT? No way. It was 7:30 in the morning! What was she doing on the computer at that early hour? (don't even say it...)
I was miffed the entire day. Hmph. I should have gotten those hours. I've been there SIX YEARS. Who cares if I had quit? Does six years count for nothing? There went my kids hot lunch money. Maybe SHE would like to tell me kids there would be no turkey gravy next month.
Well, as He always does, God gently ministered to my heart that day. The main thing He showed me is that it was OK. He reminded me that the store wasn't my source. HE IS. And He would take care of me. Staying home was definitely the right choice. And He would honor that decision - probably in ways I wasn't expecting. Ways I couldn't control.
So I handed over my worries and fears to Him. By the end of the day, it really WAS OK. I would finish out my last week and trust that God would provide after that. And then the peace came.
Of course, you know there's more. And the next part is what chokes me up every time I think about it.
The next morning (yes, the VERY NEXT MORNING after my miffed-slash-handed-it-over-to-God day) there was an email in my inbox when I woke up. It was a job offer to write a short article every day for a specific amount of cash. Wanna know how much cash? Well, let me put it this way: MORE cash than I was taking home from my other job.
I DARE you to tell me that wasn't God.
So why am I always surprised when He steps in and reminds me Who He is? Why do I STILL have such a hard time trusting Him? And why do I always try to control everything instead of handing it over in the first place?
And the biggest question of all...despite my idiotic and moronic ways, why does He STILL keep blessing me?
What an awesome God I serve!