Friday, August 6, 2010

A Time to Mourn...

I type this post in tears. For reasons I don't want to go into, I had to cancel my ACFW conference.

This was probably the hardest thing I've had to do so far in my writing journey. I won't be pitching to editors. I won't be seeing old friends I haven't seen in a year, or meeting new ones I've met only online. I won't be able to meet with my agent for the first time or catch up with my fabulous critique partner. I won't be sitting in classrooms learning great new writing techniques or gleaning from the experience of published authors. I won't be able to help with the volunteering. I won't be eating 5-course meals and being treated like a queen. And I won't be attending the awards banquet to be present for the slight chance my name is called as the first or second place winner in my category (which, actually, as nervous as I was last year, this may be the only good thing about not going).

I also feel bad for my roommate who now has to find someone else to share with since I bailed on her. If you are attending and need a roomie (or know of someone who does), PLEASE let me know.

Seriously, I am heartbroken right now. I was SO looking forward to this conference. I know that giving it up is the right decision for my situation. Still, knowing it doesn't make it easier.

So...

I doubt next year's conference will be within driving distance for me (like Indianapolis is), but I will be praying that God will make a way for me to attend.

In the meantime, I will be spending a bit of time grieving and feeling sorry for myself. I will also be praying for everyone attending this year. Have some of that delicious food for me - especially the desserts! I'll be thinking of you throughout conference weekend and wishing like crazy I could be there, too.

25 comments:

Dorothy Adamek said...

Oh Lynda... Hugs :( That's so sad. I'm sure you know what's best, but I can imagine your disappointment.
Praying for you to know God's peace.
Love
Dorothy :)

Terri Tiffany said...

I am so sorry! I know you really wanted to go. Please take heart that there is next year. I would give anything to go this year as I even had a free ticket but not the money for the rest of it. But praying we both get to go next year.

Joanne Sher said...

Oh, Lynda! I am so sorry to hear this sweetie! SO sorry! Praying for peace, my dear friend.

Susan said...

For whatever reason you are unable to go, I am sorry, Lynda. Very, very sorry as I know how much you were looking forward to this.Susan

Diane said...

So sorry! I keep thinking in these situations, there must be a reason, right? Hugs to you :O)

Mia said...

I'm so sorry! :( I can imagine how disappointed you must be. Sending you a virtual hug.

kathy taylor said...

Lynda, I'm sorry. This is my first ACFW conference, and you could be the conference spokeswoman by the way you describe it. I am saying a prayer that you'll experience something wonderful soon that will compensate for the disappointment.

Jan Cline said...

There are no words I can say, except that I would feel the same in your situation. Those of us who long to go to the conference but cannot for whatever reason feel the loss of the what might have been. But God is the God of what will be. Psalm 16:1
Praying for you Lynda.

Catrina Bradley... said...

I'm so sorry, Lynda. I know how you were looking forward to it. Sending you huge piles of cyberchocolate for your (well deserved) pity party.
Hugs
Cat

Coleene VanTilburg said...

Dearest Lynda, For what ever reason you had to make this decision, if you are acting out of obedience to God, He will doubly bless you. You are sacrificing here for some unselfish reason and I am praying for you. You are such and inspiration and help to me on your blogs and all your info, I know I am forever grateful. Keep looking up. Coleene

Pat said...

((((Lynda))))

Rita's Random Ramblings said...

(((lynda))) Saying a pray for you my sweet friend!

Lynda Schab said...

Thanks for all the hugs! I feel so loved. Coleene, you're right...this is a sacrifice - one that God prompted me to make. If it were easy to give up, I guess it wouldn't be a sacrifice. :-) I've been tearing up all day at the thought of not attending. Terri - starting to pray right now that both of us will be able to go next year. :-)

Karen Lange said...

I am so sorry. I was hoping to maybe go this year too(first time ever, and within driving distance) but I cannot go either. Believing God will make a way someday, and for you too.
Blessings and hugs,
Karen

Michael Joshua said...

I am so sorry to hear this - hugs my friend.

Sandra Heska King said...

Bummer, Lynda. It's not working out for me this year, either. All we can do is place it in God's hands for the timing--and the place.

More hugs.

jenness said...

Aw, Lynda, I'm sorry. We can have a mini online conference together, okay? Complete with chocolate! :-)

susan miura said...

Hey Crit Partner, you have succeeded in getting me all teary and emotional. I am as torn as you, believing this was the right choice and absolutely hating the sacrifice you're making. I hope my prayers will join with others and that God will bless you with a miracle. I miss you already and I'm not even there yet.

Anonymous said...

Ouch Linda... I can feel your pain but canot halve it. I am reminded of those who cried out to Jesus for their heart's desire (helaing in their case) and He directed them away from their supposed source -Himself- and sent them in another direction - of doing the right thing. AND on the way they were healed.
May God reward you with your deepest desire. Love Philippa Geaney

Rose McCauley said...

Dear Lynda, and I was sooo looking forward to meeting you in person after our blog connection. Praying God's blessings on your writing as you are obedient to him, even when it hurts!

Lynda Schab said...

Aw...you guys are so awesome. Believing for next year!

PatriciaW said...

Hugs, Lynda! I too had to cancel my planned conference. Would have been my first. I'm disappointed but overly bummed. God's got something else in store for our obedience.

Lynda Schab said...

So sorry to hear that, Patricia. I know you were looking forward to it. Let's pray that we'll both be there next year! :-)

d. w. fry said...

Lynda, I join you in this season of lament. I too cannot attend so I resonate - and yes, I grieved as well. I've learned now to see it as the ache of a dream's growing pains. Notice I used the word "growing" because that IS what this season is all about.

I so understand the sorrow of being attuned to the atmosphere of all that is the ACFW conference only to have it slip from our grasp. It was a pleasure meeting you at the conference last year and I was delighted to hear that you are now agented. That's incredible! Indeed, that's a blessing I have yet to taste. You're further along this journey than I.

So take heart .. Be Courageous .. and Be Encouraged! God's grace IS shining on you Lynda.

Grace & Peace to you from God the Father!

david

Lynda Schab said...

Thank you, David! :-)