Friday, November 19, 2010

Giveaway reminders and Friday Fiction: A Purpose Driven Wife

With Thanksgiving only a week away, the holidays are quickly approaching! Don't forget that today is the last day you can enter to win a copy of Creative Cooking for Simple Elegance, by my friend and author Angela Breidenbach. This is a great cookbook for the upcoming holidays! If you missed the original post, check it out here: Cookbook Giveaway and Interview with Angela Breidenbach

Also pop over to THIS POST and enter to win this week's 12 Books of Christmas giveaway, Love Finds You Under the Misteltoe by Anita Higman. Winners of this book and the cookbook will be announced tomorrow.

Speaking of Christmas...As I mentioned on Wednesday, I went on my annual 3-day Christmas shopping trip this week and my mom and I put a huge dent in our holiday shopping. Because shopping is fresh on my mind, I thought today I'd post a flash fiction story I entered in the FaithWriters Writing Challenge a few years ago.

A Purpose Driven Wife
by Lynda Schab

Saturday mornings are for relaxation and that’s exactly what I doing. I sat in my favorite green Lazy-Boy, newspaper in hand and coffee within reach.

What more could a man ask for?

I heard my wife enter the room, but I didn’t look up. We had already said good morning and, right now, the sports section demanded my attention.

“Hey, honey,” she said, in her sweet, soft voice.

“Hmmm---“ I mumbled.

“I was thinking we could spend some time together today.”

My ears perked up and I looked over the paper. Pam was still dressed in her silk kimono, long hair damp from the shower. “Spending time together” was about the only thing that could distract me right now. When she batted her baby browns at me, she had me. I grinned and threw the paper on the ground.

“Let’s go!” I said, struggling up from the chair.

“Oh, I was hoping you’d say that.” She pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from behind her back and shoved them into my chest. “Here. Get dressed. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

“Huh?” I stood there, dumbfounded.

“I have to go to the mall and look for a dress for Kate's and Adam's wedding. I need your help.”

“What? Wait a minute. Why can’t your mother go with you?”

Pam looked at me strangely. “Because my mother lives five states away.” She rolled her eyes.

“What about Nancy and Kim? Why don’t you treat yourself to a Girl’s Day Out?” I suggested hopefully.

“Honey, come on. They won’t be seeing me in the dress – you will. I want your opinion.”

I sighed and watched the manipulator bounce up the stairs. Why, oh why, couldn’t I say no to that woman?


The mall parking lot was jammed.

“Is there some kind of special event going on?” I asked.

“It’s the Christmas in August sale,” she said, and pointed to a car backing out of its parking space, about a mile and a half from the door. I longed for my recliner.

“I thought it was called Christmas in July,” I said as we walked.

“July is over. Nothing happens in August. They had to come up with something.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

I totally didn’t get it.

My wife was on a mission. In the first store, she marched directly to the dresses, dove into dozens of racks and emerged carrying no less than fifteen at a time. She led me to the dressing room area, where I finally got to sit down. It didn’t matter that I was sandwiched on a sofa between two other helpless looking husbands. The three of us sat awkwardly, waiting for our wives, occasionally checking our watches and cracking a joke or two.

My wife came out and showed me dress number one.

“That’s nice,” I said.

“Nice?” She frowned. “That won't cut it. I want, WOW!” She disappeared again.

“She did look good,” offered the guy on my right.

“Yeah,” agreed the left guy.

An hour or so later, we left the first store with no dress. I waved to my two new friends and wished them luck.

For the next four hours, I was dragged through mobs of people, shoved six times, stepped on twice by bratty kids, and snapped at by rude sales people. The worst was that after four hours, Pam was still empty-handed.

“What are you going to do?” I asked, praying she’d just give up.

“Oh – I’m going back to the first store to get the dress you called, “nice.” I really liked that one.”

WHAT? If you liked it, why didn’t you just get it four hours ago?” Thoughts of my Lazy-Boy returned. I could gotten in a long nap!

“I had to make sure there wasn’t a better deal out there,” she smiled and patted my arm.

I was pretty sure I had gotten the worst deal of all.

“Thanks for tagging along, honey,” Pam said sweetly. “I know you hate shopping and I really do appreciate it.”

I softened. At that moment, I decided that my wife was worth a little discomfort. And that one of my husbandly purposes had been fulfilled for the day.

When we got home, I plopped into my recliner, completely exhausted. My wife, for some reason, was exhilarated.

“OK, honey, now we can really spend some time together, if you know what I mean." She winked.

For the first time I could remember, I had a headache.

But you know, I just can’t say no to that woman!


Terri Tiffany said...

LOL this was so cute! My husband has learned to make friends with other men on the benches a few times too:)

Joanne Sher said...

LLLOOVVVEEE it, Lyn! Too cute!

Caroline said...

Ah, poor defenseless hubbys. How sad. :) :) That Pam sure sounded reasonable to me. Why can't the husband understand. lol

I tell mine: women HAVE to buy something now and then. Keeps up their spirits.

Good story.
Carole B

Diane said...

Great story, thanks for sharing it with us. Have a great weekend! :O)