Friday, October 28, 2011
Feeling Squished and Exposed
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I was a few months overdue for my yearly mammogram, so I scheduled one for today. Not really looking forward to it, but I know it's a necessary evil, so I'm going to grimace and bear it.
This morning, as I was thinking about my appointment and making my to-do list for the day, I realized that my "girls" aren't the only ones getting a mammogram. I decided that, right now, I am in the middle of an an author's mammogram.
How did I come to that conclusion? Glad you asked.
Squeezed and Squished
With my book coming out in less than three weeks, my time is being squeezed and flattened to a painful level. November is always busy for me, but this year my daughter is in her first year of marching band, which, for those of you who are familiar with marching band, is a huge commitment and pretty much takes up every weekend from September through mid-November. I've also co-written my church's Christmas play, titled, How Christmas Saved the Grinch. This will be a huge production, with two showtimes on December 10. I am thrilled and honored for the wonderful opportunity to be involved in what I know will be a life-changing and amazing production, but with rehearsals and meetings at least twice per week, this takes a large bite out of my time. Then there's my outside job, family events, appointments...blah blah blah...You know what I'm talking about. You've been there. You likely ARE there.
The life of a woman.
So, as excited as I am about my first book coming out (pause to squeal!), I have to admit, I never imagined how much work would be involved after the contract was signed. Now that we're down to the wire, I'm busy organizing my blog tour, sending info to my influencers, marketing and promoting, answering emails, scheduling book signings, and planning my launch party. Needless to say, the dust bunnies are multiplying, the food in my cupboards is dwindling, and my eyes are starting to cross.
I definitely feel squished and flattened right now. But I keep focusing on the fact that it will be over before I know it. Unlike the mammogram I have the displeasure of receiving this afternoon, I will try to enjoy every moment of the process.
Vulnerability = Exposing a breast in front of strangers. Worse, being at the mercy of those strangers as they probe, manipulate, and press said breast into insane and unfathomable positions against a cold, metal machine.
Vulnerability = Baring your soul and putting your "baby" out there for the world to see. Worse, being at the mercy of potentially mean and nasty people who hate your baby. Feeling exposed is definitely a word I would use to describe how I'm starting to feel as I send copies of my novel to reviewers and influencers. Yes, I know being an author is all about exposing yourself- after all, I am writing to an audience. I knew I'd eventually get to this point, but now that it's here, I'm freaking out a little.
And the Prognosis is...
It's not always easy to wait for the results of a mammogram, particularly if you've had negative results before. This is where we need to put on our prayer hats and patience.
I'll also be living on a prayer and patience as I wait for feedback on my book.
Let's hope for healthy results on both counts!