I can't believe it's been one year since I've posted. Well, yes I can. What does surprise me is that my "followers" haven't abandoned my blog! I thought I owed it to you guys to explain my absence. Hope you don't mind my transparency.
One year ago, right after Spring Break, I filed for divorce. In the months that followed, I moved out of my house and in with my mom for the summer, and spent three months job hunting. In August I started working, sold the house we'd lived in for the past 10 years, and bought a condo. Moved into the condo with my daughter over Labor Day weekend and immediately dealt with everything associated with a new school year (and grueling marching band season). In October, my 25-year marriage officially ended.
So began my life as a single, working mom. The physical outcome has been exhausting, of course, but the emotional struggles have been the most draining. Draining for me, my daughter, and my son (who lives with my ex). We all experienced more than a few meltdowns as we muddled through a difficult time of adjustment.
Right now I work part-time as an administrative assistant, and part-time as a freelance writer, currently looking for full time employment. So, while I have continued to write and keep myself immersed to a certain degree in the world of publishing, I have had to put my fiction on the shelf, so to speak. At least for a time. Fiction is my passion, and perhaps my calling, so I truly believe I will get back to it one day. But it is what it is. Right now, I honestly don't have the time or energy to devote to it. My creativity has been pressed to a distant corner of my brain, being crushed by the stresses of everyday life. I withdrew the contract for the third Madi book from Oak Tara, and I also released my agent, as I didn't - and wouldn't any time soon - have anything for him to pitch for me.
I am not looking for sympathy. But I do know many of you can relate. Maybe not about the divorce, specifically, but about the curve-balls life can throw at you. We all have "stuff." Difficult stuff. Stuff that knocks the wind out of us. Stuff that send us rocking in the corner or gorging on gallons of ice cream. Stuff that makes us question our faith. Stuff that requires putting our dreams on hold for a season.
That is where I am. I have made many mistakes in the past year. Made too many bad choices to count. I will continue to screw up, but I am learning, adapting, and hopefully growing.
If there's one thing (besides the grace of God) that I'm most thankful for, it's my friends. I have a wonderful, supportive group of friends who listen to me ramble and cry, provide fun nights out, make me laugh, encourage me, and give me a kick in the butt when I need it. Which, FYI, is more often than I'd like.
Anyway, I just wanted to give this update and say thanks for not "unfollowing" me during this crazy past year. Not sure if or when I'll get back to blogging regularly, but I've missed it, so hopefully it will happen.
And for all of my friends going through "stuff" right now, I leave you with this: