One year ago, right after Spring Break, I filed for divorce. In the months that followed, I moved out of my house and in with my mom for the summer, and spent three months job hunting. In August I started working, sold the house we'd lived in for the past 10 years, and bought a condo. Moved into the condo with my daughter over Labor Day weekend and immediately dealt with everything associated with a new school year (and grueling marching band season). In October, my 25-year marriage officially ended.
So began my life as a single, working mom. The physical outcome has been exhausting, of course, but the emotional struggles have been the most draining. Draining for me, my daughter, and my son (who lives with my ex). We all experienced more than a few meltdowns as we muddled through a difficult time of adjustment.
Right now I work part-time as an administrative assistant, and part-time as a freelance writer, currently looking for full time employment. So, while I have continued to write and keep myself immersed to a certain degree in the world of publishing, I have had to put my fiction on the shelf, so to speak. At least for a time. Fiction is my passion, and perhaps my calling, so I truly believe I will get back to it one day. But it is what it is. Right now, I honestly don't have the time or energy to devote to it. My creativity has been pressed to a distant corner of my brain, being crushed by the stresses of everyday life. I withdrew the contract for the third Madi book from Oak Tara, and I also released my agent, as I didn't - and wouldn't any time soon - have anything for him to pitch for me.
I am not looking for sympathy. But I do know many of you can relate. Maybe not about the divorce, specifically, but about the curve-balls life can throw at you. We all have "stuff." Difficult stuff. Stuff that knocks the wind out of us. Stuff that send us rocking in the corner or gorging on gallons of ice cream. Stuff that makes us question our faith. Stuff that requires putting our dreams on hold for a season.
That is where I am. I have made many mistakes in the past year. Made too many bad choices to count. I will continue to screw up, but I am learning, adapting, and hopefully growing.
If there's one thing (besides the grace of God) that I'm most thankful for, it's my friends. I have a wonderful, supportive group of friends who listen to me ramble and cry, provide fun nights out, make me laugh, encourage me, and give me a kick in the butt when I need it. Which, FYI, is more often than I'd like.
Anyway, I just wanted to give this update and say thanks for not "unfollowing" me during this crazy past year. Not sure if or when I'll get back to blogging regularly, but I've missed it, so hopefully it will happen.
And for all of my friends going through "stuff" right now, I leave you with this:
8 comments:
So sorry for all your troubles, Lynda. I know they hurt now, and you're feeling a bit lost as you continue to try to make sense of things. But before you know it, the rhythm of life will begin again and you'll be able to dance to it. Keep your eyes on your Dance Partner. He'll get you through this.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Amen Linda! I too have learned that the Lord is truly our significant other, and will always be here for us through thick and thin, light and darkness, desolate valleys and cloud covered mountains. He will never let us down and as the song goes, "Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me...." The gifts He has given us are here for a reason and though seasons may have them on the back burner I am confidant He will be bringing them forward. An apron-less creator He is also the Master Chef and serves up the most delightful exquisite dishes of anointed blessings that not only are mouth watering but touch the very core of our souls. You are going to even be used more mightily Lynda because of what you have gone through and all the glory will go to our Significant Other. Praise Him! Love you Lynda! <3 Isn't God good? <3
LIfe does give us a swift kick in the pants, often harder and potentially more deadly than we think we can handle; but God never allows those things to swallow us up. In fact, He will hold to His word and we will one day look back and nod, saying: "Yes. Everything DOES work together for our good, and everything will ultimately glorify Him."
Hugs. Karlene
Karlene is right. It's hard to see how it all could be for your good, but one day it will all make sense. I love the saying you posted. You are a woman with much more strength than you realize.
Lynda, I am so sorry that life has brought you to this new season. God makes beauty out of ashes. Take time for yourself and especially the Lord and reconnect to all His goodness. Your writing will bloom again, more beautiful, deeper, in His grace-filled care. Sending you hope-filled restorative prayers.
I just want to chime in with an enthusiastic "Hey, You!"
So great to see your blog update in my emails, and even greater to hear that, despite a multitude of "stuff" hitting your family this past year, you still have hope and a sense of humor.
God's got this.
Thank you so much, ladies, for the encouragement and support. Diana, yes! I don't think I could get rid of that sense of humor if I tried. Which is a good thing! Don't get me wrong...I have plenty of good cries, but laughter truly is the best medicine for stress and heartache. :-)
Love you guys!
Or is that cry's... :-)
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