Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday Fiction - It Snot Funny

Maybe it's because my son just attended homecoming dance and I have teenagers on my mind, but I chose the story, It Snot Funny, to post for this week's Friday Fiction. It's very loosely based on a real-life event (and no, I won't give you the real details). :-)

Anyway, if you'd like to participate in Fiction Friday, visit Vonny's blog for all the details and to add your name to the list. In the meantime, I humbly present you with my story (the story I wrote, not the story I lived. Not exactly, anyway.)

It Snot Funny!

Alyssa looked hot and she knew it.

Her hair was perfect. Make-up was perfect. She and Jade had gone to the mall the other day and she bought a great outfit – just for tonight. Gap low-rise jeans and an off-the-shoulder Hollister tee. Even her skin was glowing from the spray-on tan she’d had applied yesterday.

Yep. No doubt about it. She looked smokin’!

The only problem was that she felt a dreaded cold coming on. Two days ago, she woke up with a scratchy throat and she’d been popping vitamin C since. So far, it hadn’t seemed to help much. She was sniffling a little and her lips were slightly chapped from licking them. But, with her new Mac shade of Passion Pink, you couldn’t even tell. And she’d make sure to keep a couple tissues with her in case her nose bothered her.

Her cell phone rang and Alyssa flipped it open. She recognized Jade’s cell number.

“Where are you, girlfriend? Brad is here and he is lookin’ mighty fine! Get your hot little self over here before some other girl snatches him up!”

Alyssa heard music and noise in the background. The party was in full swing. “I’m on my way. Keep an eye on him for me, okay?”

“I’ll try, Lyss, but I can’t promise.”

Alyssa snapped shut her phone and hurried out the door. As she drove to the party, her mind was only on one thing: Brad Pearson. Cool, gorgeous, football quarterback...and interested in her! Or so she’d heard. Hence, the reason she had to look her absolute best tonight. She wanted Brad to notice. She wanted to leave an impression he wouldn’t soon forget. Maybe she’d even play a little hard to get. Of course, she didn’t want him to think she was blowing him off. No, she would definitely let him know she was interested.

If Jade didn’t let him get away, that is.

Dozens of cars lined the street and Alyssa squeezed into a spot between two sports cars. As she walked toward the house, she stifled a cough. Digging through her purse, she pulled out a cough drop and popped it into her mouth.

Inside, Alyssa looked around for Jade and found her in the basement shooting pool with a couple of friends.

“Where is he?” she asked, searching the room from side to side.

“He’s out back. But you’d better hurry. Carly Stevens was flirting pretty hard the last I saw.”

Jealousy oozed into Alyssa’s emotions and she narrowed her eyes. “Carly is nothing compared to me. I mean, do I look hot tonight, or what?”

Two guys standing nearby gave Alyssa the confirmation she needed.

“ I go. Come with me.” She pulled her friends arm and dragged her out back.

And there he was, sipping a diet coke, with an easy smile, surrounded by all of his football player friends and a few Carly Stevens. But not for long.

Brad looked her way. Was it her imagination or did his eyes light up? Carly shot her a dirty look as she approached.

“Hey, Brad,” Alyssa said, the cough drop dissolving in her mouth.“Hi Alyssa. I was hoping you’d show up.”

He was hoping she’d show up! Yes! Score one for me! She gave Carly a smug smile.

“You’re looking pretty hot tonight,” Brad said.

She knew it was true, but it was still nice to hear. Particularly from him. Still, she’d laugh and act embarrassed, as if she didn’t really think she was.

And then it happened.

She laughed – through her nose. And something came out.

It would have been horrifying if it only came out onto her lip. But no. It ejected like a rocket, landing with a splat on Brad’s cheek. At first, he looked stunned. Then confused. Then...disgusted. He reached up and felt his face. Looked at his slimy fingers. Then at her.

For the last time.

Everyone but Brad thought it was hilarious. Especially Carly. And even Jade...the traitor. The laughter closed in on her, the faces blending together in a jumbled mess.

Alyssa didn’t think it was funny either. In fact, it felt as if her cold was coming on stronger than ever. She turned and fled.

She didn’t feel so hot.


Yvonne said...

Ha,Ha,Ha... I remember this story!

When I was little we liked to say "Snot", because it was one of the nastiest words my mother would let us say. *smile*

Anonymous said...

Oh, that's just nasty. eeewwwww.

From someone who's now having PTSD flashbacks of a similar event, all I can say is, "YUCK." :shiver:

Well written.

Betsy Markman said...

Ah, pride goeth before a fall...or a glob...


Donna J. Shepherd said...

Oh, yuck! Disgusting AND funny. You're a riot!

Joanne Sher said...

eeeeewwwwwww - but wonderfully written! I think I DO remember this one, but I loved it again all the same! Ohhh so realistic (I hate to admit!! LOL)

LauraLee Shaw said...

Hilarious!!!! You are a riot!

Patty Wysong said...

Oh! Poor girl! (But I'm laughing, too!!)

I love your voice here! Super!