Well, yesterday I found out that I am not the recipient of an ACFW conference scholarship.
This post is not a complaint. I understand that those scholarships are prayerfully awarded and that they went to very deserving writers. But that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed, you know?
My husband and I left on Monday morning to go out of town for a couple of days. I saw a message on the ACFW Loop announcing that all of the ACFW Conference scholarship recipients had been notified by phone and all of the non-recipients had been sent emails. Well, I hadn't gotten an email, so for one brief moment I allowed myself to hope that maybe there was a message on my home answering machine telling me I'd received the scholarship. I emailed the coordinator. And last night I found out that there is no message on my answering machine. I am not one of those recipients. The email had simply gotten lost in cyberspace.
The thought of possibly being able to attend made my heart leap. The one conference I attended (Denver, 2009, paid by my dad) was the single best experience I've had in my writing career. Last year, I registered early for the conference in Indianapolis, which was within driving distance and would save me airfare. But at the 11th hour, I felt God prompting me to cancel for personal reasons, so I ate the $100 cancellation fee and withdrew. That was one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. But it was ok. This year, there's really no way I can go unless a thousand bucks falls into my lap.
I wasn't holding my breath for the scholarship. I know there are others just as desperate to go as I am, and others worse off financially than I am. In no way do I want to take away from the excitement of those who got scholarships. I truly am thrilled for them! (Names are not released, due to privacy, of course).
God has blessed so abundantly. I know that. And I am so thankful for everything I have. In fact, I recently won $250, which paid for my husband and I to get away for a couple nights (something we really, really needed). But, just being real here, I'm not immune to disappointment.
Q4U: When was the last time your hopes have been dashed? And how did you deal with it?