Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Blessed...but Still Bummed

Well, yesterday I found out that I am not the recipient of an ACFW conference scholarship.

Bummer.

This post is not a complaint.  I understand that those scholarships are prayerfully awarded and that they went to very deserving writers. But that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed, you know?

My husband and I left on Monday morning to go out of town for a couple of days. I saw a message on the ACFW Loop announcing that all of the ACFW Conference scholarship recipients had been notified by phone and all of the non-recipients had been sent emails. Well, I hadn't gotten an email, so for one brief moment I allowed myself to hope that maybe there was a message on my home answering machine telling me I'd received the scholarship. I emailed the coordinator. And last night I found out that there is no message on my answering machine. I am not one of those recipients. The email had simply gotten lost in cyberspace.

The thought of possibly being able to attend made my heart leap. The one conference I attended (Denver, 2009, paid by my dad) was the single best experience I've had in my writing career. Last year, I registered early for the conference in Indianapolis, which was within driving distance and would save me airfare. But at the 11th hour, I felt God prompting me to cancel for personal reasons, so I ate the $100 cancellation fee and withdrew. That was one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. But it was ok. This year, there's really no way I can go unless a thousand bucks falls into my lap.

Sigh...

I wasn't holding my breath for the scholarship. I know there are others just as desperate to go as I am, and others worse off financially than I am. In no way do I want to take away from the excitement of those who got scholarships. I truly am thrilled for them! (Names are not released, due to privacy, of course).

God has blessed so abundantly. I know that. And I am so thankful for everything I have. In fact, I recently won $250, which paid for my husband and I to get away for a couple nights (something we really, really needed). But, just being real here, I'm not immune to disappointment. 

Q4U: When was the last time your hopes have been dashed? And how did you deal with it?

7 comments:

Cozy in Texas said...

Sorry you didn't win, but maybe there's something bigger on the horizon.
Ann

Jessica R. Patch said...

Linda, so sorry to hear about the scholarship. When things like that happen to me, I always try to tell myself God has something better and He does, but it doesn't really make the disappointed feelings go away instantly. :)

Joanne Sher said...

Ok - just have to answer your first question. About the same time yours was, and for the same reason. And the time before that was a few days earlier - you KNOW what I'm talking about.

God has been speaking to me A LOT about His timing in the past week or so. And that's how I'm viewing these two events. If it is supposed to happen, it will occur in God's timing. Just need to listen for His voice.

quietspirit said...

I am sorry you didn't win.

My hopes have been dashed so often that I have lost track. I have a way I have learned to deal with this phenomenon. I don't get my hopes up.

Three years ago, we were on vacation and I had an experience that I thought would make a nice story for a small magazine. I wrote and rewrote and finally sent it in via the US Mail. The magazine sent it back to me. I didn't submit anything for a long time. I guess I'm too choosy. I know I don't like rejection.

Lynda Schab said...

Thanks, ladies. Yes, disappointment comes with life. I do believe anything is possible with God and there is still a chance for the conference. Holding onto the faith, here, but trying to trust that God's ways are better than mine and if He wants me there, He'll make a way. I've received lots of rejection in my writing and I can handle that. It's all a learning process. Every rejection is a chance for growth, right? :-)

Caroline said...

ooh. I hate disppointments. Rejections. And, yeah, I've missed out on some scholarships too. :(

So sorry, Linda. Hoping something will happen so you can go. $1000 is a lot of dough.

Jill Kemerer said...

I'm sorry. I really wanted to go to the conference this year too, but financially we just can't swing it. It's so hard watching many of my friends go again--but at least they share pictures after!