Friday, June 25, 2010

Redefining Me

Yesterday, my husband and I met with a loan officer (Ken) to talk about refinancing our home. Interest rates are a full point less than we're paying right now, so it's the perfect time to do it. Hey, saving $100 a month sounds good to us, especially when that money could go towards our daughter's braces that she'll be getting this summer.

So we're sitting in the bank answering the typical questions for the zillions of forms required. At one point, we realized my income wasn't needed in order for us to qualify. Ken said, "So instead of listing your occupation" (self-employed writer), "I'll just list you as a 'homemaker.' Is that ok?"

Wanna know what I said in response? Do you? Wait for it...

I replied, "Well, I don't like the sound of that, but whatever." (insert chuckle)

On the way home, I thought about what I'd said and this time I didn't laugh. When in the world did I start thinking that "homemaker" was a dirty word? A word to be embarrassed by or even ashamed of?

Hey, I'm all for women working and pursuing careers. I personally think that "writer" is one of the things that defines who I am. But yesterday caused me to take a look at my heart and discover that a part of me believed that being a "writer" defined me more than being a "homemaker."

Housewife...homemaker...stay-at-home's sad that society has determined that this role is unimportant, unworthy, certainly nothing to brag about.

And how much sadder that I'd adapted that mentality.

I'm thinking that my husband and kids would rather define me as a great wife and mother than a writer any day. And even though I believe part of my purpose on this earth is to use the talents God's given me, I think my most vital purpose - the one that will have the most eternal impact - is making a home for my family.

Bang a couple of pots and pans if you agree.


Dara said...

*Banging pots and pans over here*
My mom was a homemaker most of her life, from the time I was about eight until now. She used to work because the family needed both her and dad's income but soon God provided the opportunity for her to stay at home with us and she took it :)

I remember in school how people would look at me weird when I said my mom stayed at home. It was the 90s, when the whole "powerful career woman" thing was at its height. I think now I notice more and more women staying at home with their kids, especially ones in my generation. I hope I am able to do the same.

kathy taylor said...

Will pot lids do? I'd love to play the "cymbals." Great topic!

Joanne Sher said...

Bang bang :)

I grew up thinking being a homemaker was anything but desirable, but now, as one, I see the incredible validity and importance of it. I am truly privileged to be able to do it, despite our "life issues."

Excellent stuff, my friend.

Pat said...

and it' sad when insurance companies don't acknowledge A Homekeeper as a viable assessment to your health.

As I was taking an physical assessment so we could get more money for our deductibles, there were all kinds of w=questions about the place were you worked -- and man -- I wish I could have answered them!

They asked about being appreciated, having enough time and resources to do your job well and so on. (stress level was also discussed)

It is a shame that SAHM's or SAHD's are not looked upon as HEROES and deserve the maximumin in Social Security.

: )

Maria I. Morgan said...

Great post, Lynda! I'm banging my pots and pans with you. It's a shame that we've bought into this mentality. Thanks for sharing this timely post. Have a beautiful weekend and God bless!

Susan said...

Bang Bang (type type) Bang Bang (type type type some more) Nothing wrong with being a homemaker. Nothing wrong with being a writer. Nothing wrong with being both. As a matter of fact, combinging both is right for a lot of us! Susan

Diane said...

Beautiful post and revelation. Have a great weekend beautiful fellow homemaker. :O)